45. Don't Read This!

More accurately, don't read the financial news.

Why?

Here's a sample: the headlines from Yahoo Stock Market headlines this morning --

So let's see what we have here:

1. "Stock futures little changed", although manufacturing data in Europe doesn't look good. Slight negative, it seems. But then...
   
2. You need to watch these 3 ETFs! What the hell does that mean? Is it like watching TV? Is it going to be exciting or funny? Again, meaningless advice. But wait, there's more!
   
3. "Major indexes on roller-coaster ride". Weren't they "little changed" a moment ago? Sounds like a lot of ups and down, probably down, because of that manufacturing data, but...
   
4. "Wall-Street looks to extend the rally into April". Hmmm, maybe this means the stock market is not going down or staying where it is, but actually going up? But then, this roller-coaster worries me. Wait, there's more!
   
5. "For stocks, a stable and impressive climb in 2012" - no roller-coaster after all?

In other words, within 5 headlines in a single day, analysts are predicting that the stocks will go up, will go down, will remain where they are, will be stable, and will have a roller-coaster ride. 

Maybe I find it all confusing and meaningless because I'm not watching the 3 ETFs show?